In recent years, studies after studies have shown that healthy friendships and social networks have a positive effect on health.
A 10-year Australian study on friends found that older people with larger numbers of friends were 22% less likely to die during the study period than those with fewer friends. The Nurses’ Health Study from Harvard Medical School also found that the higher the number of friends women had, the lower their chances of developing health problems as they grew older.
In short, it’s good to have friends. However, making friends is one thing. Making friends last is quite another. Even the best of friends sometimes drift apart and eventually become strangers. To make good friends last, try the following tips for building healthy friendships.
Focus on the Positive
Healthy friendships begin with a focus on the positive. See the good in friends and the things they do. Try to talk more about good things in life. While it’s perfectly fine to share bad news every now and then, avoid indulging in bad-mouthing other mutual acquaintances or spreading gossip.
Also, try not to complain or whine about something incessantly to a friend just because she is willing to listen. Non-stop complaining can be draining and serve no purpose at times.
Listen With Care
Having friends mean giving each other help and support when it is needed. So listen with care when a friend has a genuine problem and needs a helping hand. Ask friends what is going on in their lives.
Call them or ask them out and really listen to the things they talk about. Don’t ask a friend out just to talk about your own problems all the time.
Give Friends Their Own Space
Healthy friendships are not judged by the amount of time the friends spend together. Even best friends don’t have to be together or talk to each other all the time. Give friends their own space. Go easy and don’t overwhelm them with phone calls and don’t drop by their place without notice. Although it’s good to hear from friends, unannounced visits can be very inconvenient at times. Be considerate. Find out what’s the best time to call or visit a friend.
Avoid Competition with Friends
Real friends don’t really care what the others have or how much money the others earn. They are friends because they enjoy one another’s company, not because they want to be the one with the most of everything – the biggest house, nicest car, smartest kids, richest husband, and so on — among the “friends.”
Avoid competition with friends and don’t let jealousy come between good friends.
Have Different Friends for Different Occasions
A person’s life is so much richer if she has different friends for different occasions. After all, people shouldn’t rely only one particular friend for companionship. Form healthy friendships with different groups of people. Have a workout buddy, traveling companion, party pal and older friend as a mentor.
Friends are important to everyone. They improve the health and enrich the lives of others. To build and maintain healthy friendship, try to focus on the positive, listen with care, give friends their own space, avoid competition with friends and have different friends for all occasions.
Found this article useful? Read also How Shy People can Make Friends, Making Friends with Fellow Stay-at-home Parents and Coping with Social Shyness.
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