Dealing with Difficult People
Interview with Helena Baronheid, Life Coach
The name of your class is very catchy. Can you explain what you mean by “difficult people and other angels?” Can challenging people actually be angels in disguise?
Yes, I that’s exactly what I mean. Sometimes they are the most important angels we have because they motivate us to change something within ourselves that’s not serving us anymore. Difficult people are not nice feathery angels. If anything, they feel like the opposite—like people who are out to get you, who want to make your life miserable, who you want to run away from.
In observing my own life and that of my clients, challenging people often come into our lives as warning signals that there is perhaps a certain negative set of patterns, behaviors, beliefs (about ourselves or others), and emotions that we ought to let go of if we want to grow.
If that’s true, why don’t more people try to change? Isn’t it better to choose happiness?
The truth is, we tend to only pay attention to something if its starts hurting. Take our bodies. When is it that we even notice that we need some rest or should take better care of ourselves? When something starts hurting or malfunctioning. Sometimes catalysts for change come in the shape of a problem.
Can difficult people ever serve as teachers?
Absolutely. People can serve as mirrors for us, unveiling traits that we ourselves carry but we don’t admit or don’t see. They show up to let us know how ugly the trait is. This gives us the opportunity to shift that trait within ourselves so we don’t have to experience it anymore.
The more someone irritates you, the more you should ask, “Okay, what’s the main topic this person is raising for me? Is this a reflected image of something I carry within myself?” The faster you get the message and start working on healing your own issues, the faster your frustration will dissipate, the faster you will be able to let go of the situation, leave, or forgive. In essence, that person’s role as a messenger has been accomplished.
Other times people come to serve as “contrast,” allowing you to develop an opposite trait. Perhaps having a father who was very angry or stressed out allowed you to make an effort to develop the opposite traits of kindness and calmness.
To know if there is a message for you, ask yourself this question: “Do I keep attracting a certain type of person? Do I keep attracting bad relationships?” Then there is definitely something you’re being called to change or work on.
Are there other circumstances in life that can be teachers, as well? Like a car accident, for example?
Definitely. There are messages from Spirit all around us, all the time. The important thing is to notice repetitive patterns. If you are getting into accidents all the time, then there probably is a message for you.
Do you have a disease that keeps coming back, or something really stubborn that doctors can’t seem to cure? See if there is a message your body is trying to give you about a thought or belief system that you need to work on. For example, colds and bronchitis are often an indication of sadness of grief. There’s a great book by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal your Life.” It’s a great guide to the messages behind specific illnesses.
You’ve been working on a book. When can we expect to see it on bookshelves?
I’m in the process of writing it now. It is a book based on my years of experience as a Reiki Master and Life Coach. I noticed that those who healed faster were those who listened to the messages behind their difficulties, and took action to make changes. They have inspired me.
If people want to sign up for Difficult People and Other Angels or life coaching, what’s the best way to contact you?
Please visit my website at www.otherangels.com and www.vivainstitute.com. I conduct coaching sessions in person or on the phone. I also teach in wonderful retreats organized by Viva Institute in my home country of Brazil.
Helena Baronheid, Life Coach
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Difficult People Can Be Messengers
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