How to be Happy

Choose Happiness Over Sadness or Anger and Live a Happier Life

Aug 28, 2009 Gini Grey

Happiness is a choice. Why wait for external circumstances to line up perfectly before being happy? Choose to be happier now.

Many people expect someone else to make them happy or blame others for ruining their happiness. And many wait until they have the perfect mate, ideal job, or a certain amount of money in the bank before they allow for the experience of happiness.

Happiness doesn’t come from anything external; it’s an inside job. Healthy relationships, fulfilling work and constant cash flow can add to one’s happiness, but they don’t cause it; it’s the other way around. Being happy creates a positive attitude which leads to creating and attracting positive experiences in life. Why would a truly happy person attract a negative partner, work in an unfulfilling job or sabotage their finances?

Choosing to be happy is a committed decision. It means letting go of negativity, limiting beliefs, and victimhood mentality, and instead choosing to bring acceptance and joy to every encounter and circumstance.

How to be Happy in Life

Choose to be happy. Try the following suggestions as a way to cultivate inner happiness, which will ripple into the rest of your life.

  • Let go of unrealistic expectations and judgments. Expecting yourself, others or situations to fit your ideal is asking for disappointment. And judging yourself or others sucks the happiness right out of life. Practice self-acceptance along with accepting others and circumstances as they are. This will immediately bring relief and allow inner happiness to bubble forth.
  • Don’t take things personally. It’s easy to let others bring you down when you take what they say or do personally. Remember that each person has their own story to write and drama to act out, which has more to do with them than anything else.
  • Focus on the positive. Every situation has its pros and cons. Focusing on the negative triggers frustration, anger, hopelessness and, over time, even depression. Release negativity, stop worrying, and choose to focus on what’s going well, what’s working, and what you enjoy about another person or situation. This will magnify the positive and attract more of it.
  • Let go of victimhood and own your power. Feeling done-by, done-to or just plain done is a form of victimhood where a person gives their power away to others and circumstances. Instead, focus on the lessons and gifts arising from difficult situations and own your power to create the life you want.
  • Set your intention to be happy. Setting a goal, deciding on a path and taking action brings a person much closer to what they desire. The same goes for happiness; choosing to be happy, deciding what steps to take, and following through with action will lead to it.

What will you do today, tomorrow and for the rest of your life to be happy? As you develop inner happiness, it will be easier to find external ways to be even happier.

How to Live a Happier Life

Try the following external suggestions to add to your inner happiness.

  • Do what you love. Explore activities that put a smile on your face, make your body happy and your heart sing. Find ways to incorporate these into your work, hobbies, friendships, and so on.
  • Spend time with happy people. Joy can be contagious so hang out with inspiring people, playful children or humorous friends.
  • Bring joy to others. Offer a compliment, a treat or even a friendly smile to others you encounter – this will ignite their happiness and keep yours growing.
  • Bring joy to daily activities. Find ways to make even the most boring or challenging activities more fun. Play music while doing housework, listen to a comedy cd in a traffic jam, focus on the end result when you hit a wall.
  • Keep entertainment uplifting. News stories, depressing movies and the like can dampen anyone’s mood. Limit the negative input and choose more uplifting reading material, movies and conversations as a way to stay happy in mind, body and spirit.

Don’t wait for happiness to find you; happiness is something that an individual must actively seek. And once happiness is found, one can share that experience with others by serving as a happy, positive influence in the lives of others.

The copyright of the article How to be Happy in Personal Development is owned by Gini Grey. Permission to republish How to be Happy in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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Aug 28, 2009 5:48 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Great article, Gini. Nice balance between practical and theoretical.

Letting go of expectations -- unrealistic or realistic -- is one of my tried-and-true ways to be happy! I love a book called Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen, and that's where I learned that expectations can just set us up for unhappiness and disappointment.

This is not to say I don't hope for things to happen in my life. I want lots of things, and I strive to achieve those things, but I don't EXPECT them. There's pros and cons in anything we get, good or bad. I've learned that expecting things to be a certain way just isn't conducive to happiness, peace, or contentment with life.

For me, no expectations means I'm open to whatever happens.

But, how does having no expectations relate to the law of attraction? That is, if I have no expectations about, say, having kids....am I affecting the energy that goes out into the universe, which could affect what ultimately happens regarding kids? I want kids, I'd be happy to have kids....but I'm okay with not having kids. Do I have to change my expecations to cause things to happen, according to the law of attraction?
Aug 29, 2009 12:41 PM
Gini Grey :
Thanks for your feedback, Laurie. Letting go of expectations is something I've learned over time, the hard way. I would decide I want something and then create this perfect picture of it and when it didn't manifest that way I'd be disappointed.

Something I learned in my spiritual studies about the law of attraction is to put out what you want to have in your life (envision it to make it more real for yourself) but then let it go (out to the Universe or your higher self) so that the other pieces can be pulled together. If we try to make it happen ourselves (with our ego mind), we limit all the other possible ways it can happen.

The other thing I learned was to add the tag line "this or something better" or "in whatever way is best for me and others", because we don't always know what is best for us. We may think we do at the time, but in the end our higher spiritual selves know what is best so it helps to surrender our dreams to that higher aspect of ourselves.

Re you having children- if you are okay with it either way then leaving it up to your higher self makes the most sense as our higher selves see the bigger picture of our lives and know what is best for us. We naturally then attract what is a match for us - that is the essence of law of attraction - like attracts like. So if you really want something but you focus on the lack of it, your energy is set for lack not having it.
Aug 30, 2009 6:46 AM
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen :
Thanks Gini, yes, this makes sense to me. I love the idea of letting my higher self lead. And I want to stay focused on my intentions, not my lack.

Thanks!
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