How to Help Someone Coping with Holiday Grief
Lending Support to Those Grieving at Holiday Time
Nov 19, 2008
Holidays and anniversaries are two of the most difficult holidays that a person grieving the loss of a loved one has to deal with. Even years after the loss, these events can dredge up feelings so strong, that it can seem as if the loss was only yesterday. What is the best way to offer support to a grieving person during the holiday celebrations?
Grief is Unique to the Individual
First, one must understand that all people grieve differently and at their own pace. Some people may want to talk about the loss, while others tend to keep things bottled up. Some may act like nothing has happened, while others may remain emotional and become upset easily. All of these responses are normal for the individual experiencing the loss. Recognize that they are hurting, but don't try to push them too fast.
When extending a holiday invitation to the bereaved, don't pressure them to accept. As part of the grieving process, they may have made other arrangements or just not be up for socializing. Let them know that they are still welcome to attend if they change their mind. Simply knowing that they have options can be a comfort to them.
If the individual chooses to stay at home, give them a call on the holiday and extend greetings. Ask if they need anything or offer to bring over a plate of food if the person lives alone. Make the offer, but don't force the issue or intrude on the person's privacy. Many people who are grieving find more comfort in being by themselves on the holidays.
If the invitation is accepted, keep the festivities light, but don't sidestep the topic if it happens to come up. Acknowledge the loss and share a happy memory of the person who has passed on.
Tips for the Bereaved
It's natural for friends and family to be concerned. If possible, accept holiday invitations. Being with friends and family during the grieving process can be very helpful. It can be a reminder that although a loved one has passed on, there are caring people that can be leaned on for support during a difficult time.
If not up for holiday socializing, consider doing something different such as a change of scenery or an activity that doesn't center around holiday celebrations. If things get to be too much, remember that there are friends and grief support groups to reach out to. Most importantly, do what feels right.
