Dementia is a challenging disease which robs people of their mental abilities. Learn how you as a caregiver can help a loved one struggling with dementia.
When an aging parent or loved one shows signs of forgetfulness, it’s understandable. But when it’s more than just poor memory, but full blown dementia, it can become overwhelming if you're the caregiver.
What is Dementia?
Dementia is a progressive decline in cognitive functions due to brain damage. Besides a declining inability to remember, demented people also struggle with communication and learning.
Although people do lose some brain cells, as they grow older, dementia is a much greater loss than from just normal aging. Dementia generally strikes elderly people, but can also attack younger adults.
Warning Signs
- Memory decline – It starts out slowly. You first notice your loved one being progressively forgetful. He (or she) may ask the same question repeatedly, forgetting you’ve already answered him or remembering he even asked.
- Change in personality and mood – Your mother who was once a sweet-tempered woman progressively becomes moody and irritable over small things. Amazingly, a demented person will begin to lash out at you, after not having uttered a single curse word in the past.
- Confusion – If he constantly doesn’t remember where he lives or what day, month or season it is, then suspect there’s a problem.
- Difficulty performing simple tasks – In the last stages of dementia patients may even forget how to eat.
- Other red flags may include poor judgment, poor hygiene and/or a general apathy toward life.
Get a Professional Diagnosis
If you suspect your loved one may have dementia, then you need to get him evaluated. Set up an appointment with a mental health professional as well as a medical doctor. After a battery of tests, it will be determined just what you’re dealing with. If your loved one does have dementia, you have a difficult task in caring for him. A few tips include….
Tell -- Don’t Ask
While giving a normal person a choice about what and when to eat seems reasonable, offering choices to a demented person brings confusion. Don't ask, “What do you want for lunch?" Instead say, “We’re having tuna fish sandwiches. It’s time to eat now.”
Managing Medications
Doling out pills to a demented person is challenging. Because your loved one can’t remember what happened five minutes ago, he won’t remember his pills. It’s vital to write down the time any pills are administered. If he argues, “You didn’t give me my pills”, show him the empty pillbox for “Monday Evening”. Also, write down the time the pills were given. Keep all medications out of reach and if possible, keep them hidden at another house where the patient can’t get into them.
Accept Help
Always be willing to accept help from anyone who asks. Be prepared with specific things they can do to lighten your load. If they want to do anything from bringing over a meal to watching your loved one for a few hours, graciously accept.
On the other hand, if no one volunteers, send out an “SOS” yourself. This could be in the form of asking for help from your church, family, neighbors, etc.
What’s more, get emotional support for yourself. Find a support group where you can share your struggles with others going through the same challenges.
Encourage Your Parent to Do What They Can for Themselves
You need to know what he can and cannot do for himself. But, on the other hand, be aware of what he can’t do, avoiding added frustration.
Finally, don’t take any negative talk personally. When you loved one lashes out at you realize it’s the disease talking and not the person who’ve always known.
