Do you know how to say no to a person of power, such as your boss? We can use the formula from William Ury's The Power of a Positive No to negotiate a positive solution to the dilemma of saying no to your boss. The following scenarios are challenging opportunities to practice saying no to powerful people.
Saying No To Your Boss
Your boss asks you to work Saturday on a project for an important customer. You've worked on this deal for some time and you want it to succeed, but Saturday is your son's birthday and you promised him you'd be at his party. What do you do?
Saying No To A Parent
Your mother asks you to help her with a task that is physically difficult for her. You've told her many times to call you when she needs help with chores that are no longer safe for her to do. Now she's asked for your help, but you have promised your husband that the two of you would set aside that evening for some quality time together, a date night that you haven't had in months, if not years. What do you do?
Saying No To A Potential Employer
You've applied for a dream job, one that you've coveted for years. The interview date is set for the only day that the executive can speak with you for weeks due to his travel schedule. Today your boss assigns you to host an important executive tour the same day as your interview. Your current boss isn't aware that you're looking; if she was it could adversely affect your next raise. The new job isn't a certainty at all, but it's something you really want. What do you do?
The Positive No Method
William Ury's method for saying no while gaining a positive outcome may be your savior. There are three parts: first reflect on what you want to protect by saying no to the request. In these examples it might be the commitment to your son, strengthening your marriage, and getting your dream job.
The second part is to formulate your no based on the value you're protecting, presenting it in a positive and respectful manner. In the first example it might go like this: "I know how important this client deal is to the company. I've been working very hard to make it happen, but I can't possibly work this Saturday. It's my son's birthday and I've promised him I'd attend his party. Keeping my word is very important to me and an example for my son to model, so I'll be unable to work that day."
The third part is to suggest a way that the request can be met. It might go like this: If it's possible to schedule the work for Sunday I will happily do it with no compensation. If that's not possible, how about Susan? She's been working on this for some time, too, and is anxious to contribute to the deal's closure."
Though there are no assurances that saying no in these challenging situations will result in a positive outcome, Ury's three part positive no gives us the best chance of saying no and feeling good about the results.
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How to Say No and Make it Stick
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