Admitting and Owning Your Problems
Declare an intention to change and move from denial to understanding the risks.
Jul 5, 2006
If you're serious about making a life change from unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors, then it's important that you progress through the six stages of change. This is the third in a series of articles about successful life change, based on James Prochaska's book, Changing for Good.
If you've arrived here first, you might want to read Lose Weight for Good and Changing Your Life and then return to this article.
The second stage of change is Contemplation. It's here that a person is seriously considering a life change. In Changing Your Life I focused on the first stage, Precontemplation, and described the use of fact finding and reflection to gain awareness and ownership of a life problem. A person in the Contemplation stage intensifies their awareness and ownership of the problem.
You're in this stage of change if you've declared your intention to change (even to yourself), but you don't feel ready to take immediate action. Jumping into action while you're in this stage will almost surely lead to an ultimate failure of the change.
If you admit that your unhealthy eating habits and current weight are a problem and this admission is fairly recent, then you're likely to be in Contemplation. To successfully complete this stage of change, you'll want to make sure you fully understand the health risks you now face because of your problem. This could get scary, but do it anyway, because an important process used by successful changers is to get emotionally aroused by their problem.
Fast forward ten or twenty years, adding the pounds that will you'll likely be carrying if you fail to change. Visualize your appearance. Imagine your health problems. Compare these images with your personal values. How do you feel about this future you?
Serious life changes such as losing weight for good, smoking cessation, living within your financial means, and controlling anger, are difficult changes. You've probably been living with your problem behavior for many years; it's unlikely that you'll be able to successfully change a lifelong behavior in a short time. It will take some time and you'll need some help.
If there are people in your life you can trust to help, let them know that you're contemplating change and ask for their help. Be specific about the help you want; ask them to be patient and understanding with you during this stage. Ask for their help in observing your behaviors without criticism or judgement. You don't need guilt trips and threats, just unconditional support.
Make another list of the pros and cons of the life change you're contemplating. If the pros far outweigh the cons you may be ready for the next stage: Preparation, the subject of next week's article.
