The Quarterlife Crisis
Tips on Coping with the Uncertainty of Life in Your Twenties
Apr 12, 2008 Adrienne Christina Miles
A stage of life that is not often given enough attention or talked about is the time period from one's early twenties to early thirties. The term "quarterlife crisis" has been used to describe the uncertainty and panic for those in this age group. The quarterlife crisis affects nearly every area of the life of someone going through it including career, romantic relationships, friendships, family, and even one's spirituality. For people who have experienced this time or are currently experiencing this time, you might find yourself wishing someone had all the answers. The hard part is, no one is going to just give you the answers. The other hard part is that you yourself are the one with the answers. The only thing someone else can give you is advice on surviving this exciting, but often scary time.
What Exactly is a Quarterlife Crisis?
A quartlerlife crisis, as defined by Alexandra Robbins & Abby Wilner in their book Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in your Twenties, is "essentially a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood.”
Symptoms (Including but Definitely Not Limited to):
- depression
- insecurity about the future
- questioning one’s identity
- second-guessing career choices
- extreme nostalgia for the past
- boredom
- isolation
- doubting everything
- panic attacks
- feeling like something is missing
Helpful Tips on Surviving the Quarterlife Crisis:
- Relax. First of all, it's okay. You’re not alone. A lot of people feel this way. You’re allowed to not know what you want or, if you’re lucky enough to know what it is that you want, it’s okay to not be sure how you’re going to get there. You’ll get there, if you try. You may fail, but that just means you have to take an alternate route. Explore.
- Don’t settle. Right now is not the time to stick with a job just for the money. If you’re unhappy, now is the time to quit your job and find what makes you happy. Most people at this age don’t have a family to support or mortgages to pay, so now is the time to do it. The same goes for everything in your life, including relationships: you don’t have to settle for ANYTHING if you’re not happy.
- Follow your heart. As cliché and obvious as it sounds, it’s still easier said than done. Now is the time to follow your heart. If you want to backpack across Europe, do it. If you want to work at a rock club for minimum wage, do it. You'll find a way to make it happen. Of course it won’t always be easy, but the peace and happiness you feel internally when you close your eyes and sleep at night is well worth it.
- Don’t do it just for the money or for anyone else. First of all, if you take a job or do something for those reasons, you will not last. Money should never be the motivating factor.
- Talk. Discuss your fears with a friend, family member, psychologist or complete stranger. You’ll find that others have experienced everything you’re feeling and they can offer advice or just reassurance that everything will be okay.
- Enjoy it. You're only young once.
A quarterlife crisis is often overwhelming
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