The Gift of Unhurried Time
Over-structured Time Reduces Quality of Life
Slowing down to smell the roses isn't just a nice idea, it's a necessity for building personal resiliency and strength of character.
With so much to do and so little time to do it, maybe a good gift to consider this holiday season is the novel gift of time: time for yourself and for your family, time together and time apart, time to read, to create, to think or time to do nothing at all.
To Give Time, You Have to Take Something Away
To give the gift of time, of course, you have to take something away – a sport, an extra class, a meeting, a shopping trip – because there are, in fact, only so many hours in a day. The simple fact is that, to gain time, you must get rid of something that uses it up.
To some people, the thought of staying home and “doing nothing” is very scary. 21st century lives fill the days with so many things to do that many have lost the vital skill of doing nothing at all.
And it is a vital skill.
The Importance of Unstructured Time
Isaac Newton’s epiphany about gravity occurred while he was sitting still. Albert Einstein realized relativity during quiet moments of imaginative figuring. When Henry David Thoreau forced himself into solitude and inactivity, he made the enduring observation that “the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
With every moment of every day fully structured, you lose the ability to create order and structure of your own making. A classic sign of over-structured lives in children is the “b” word – “I’m bored” – especially when uttered at the first sign of nothing to do.
Research Proved Benefits of Down Time
Studies show that children (and adults) with time on their hands who have to make do with it – within supervised and safe environments well stocked with books, creative resources, outdoor spaces and peace and quiet – are generally more self-reliant, more creative and more self-satisfied than those whose time is always structured for them.
In a study titled “The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds,” Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg noted that resilient children – those who are typically optimistic and rebound well from adversity -- are those who possess honesty, generosity, decency, tenacity and compassion.
“Children are most likely to gain all of these essential traits of resiliency,” he says, “within a home in which parents and children have time to be together and to look to each other for positive support and unconditional love.”
In short, without unstructured, unhurried time to reflect, create and recharge our inner batteries, neither adults nor children can achieve full potential.
Use Your Time Wisely
So during the annual holiday Rush Fest – consider taking a break from it all.
Respectfully decline a party invitation, sit out the classroom present exchange, and don’t bother with that umpteenth recital or play.
Stay home.
Play cards, or a board game.
Read a book.
Draw.
Listen to the music.
Talk with each other.
Sit and think.
If your children come to you and complain that there’s nothing to do, tell them you’re sure they’ll think of something. They will! (Just keep sharp things out of reach , hide the car keys and lose the remote.)
This year, enjoy the gift of unhurried time, and you and your family will reap the benefits for years to come.
