Top Fifteen Greatest White Lies in Love and Life

Honesty is the Best Policy - To Tell the Truth

Dec 6, 2008

A lie can be a terrible thing. Depending upon the severity of the lie it can destroy trust or a reputation, cause trauma, and lies have even been known to start wars.

White lies, though, may be somewhat different. Essentially the differences are in intent and content. A lie is a type of deception, an untruth. It is a falsity told with a reasonable certainty that it is wrong, and with the intent of telling it usually to maintain a secret or reputation or to avoid a punishment. Often these lies are around love, finances, or covering up bad or criminal behavior.

A white lie, though, would usually cause no discord if it were discovered, and often offers some benefit to the liar, the hearer, or both. The problem is that even with little white lies there is a major trust factor violated and even here the mistrust that lies perpetrate can greatly – and permanently – destroy someone’s credibility.

Parents begin white lies early on. They tell young children, “The tooth fairy will leave a quarter under your pillow.” This is not necessarily a bad thing, nor does it cover up bad behavior.

Even today, parents tell their children "You can be anything you want to be." This does not mean that any child can automatically be president or an astronaut. The intent of this little white lie is to have the child work hard knowing the future will be more successful, and that the probability of becoming anything one wants does increase dramatically.

The vast majority of people do not otherwise lie. When a next door neighbor comes over for a power tool and says “I just want to borrow it”, that is what he usually means. It is not a lie. He did not intend at the time to keep it for six months.

Here are the Top Fifteen White Lies

Also, you’ll find variations on the theme. For instance, there are differences between lies and self-delusion, like, “He’s the perfect man”, or “She doesn’t have any faults at all.” (Marriage will soon reveal those imperfections on both sides!)

While lying can be incidental, it can quickly turn into a habit or compulsion if left unchecked. Even Thomas Jefferson knew that when he said, “He who permits himself to tell a lie once, finds it much easier to do it a second and third time, till at length it becomes habitual.”

People today are still basically honest. Yes, people do exaggerate, and some people seem to avoid telling the truth or the whole truth. Yes, people do deny or use other defenses to avoid getting into trouble, and yes, some people are just full of malarkey… it’s their nature.

One of the Biggest - Yet Correct - Lies

But it is not always so clear that "white lies" are wrong. After all, one of the biggest lies told was the editorial response in the New York Sun to an eight-year old girl on September 21, 1897. “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.” This editorial, the work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church, has since become history's most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in dozens of languages in books, movies, and other editorials, and on posters and stamps (Newseum.) But was it a lie? It told a statement of hope, and that was - and is - the truth.

The point is that sometimes a little white lie can help invoke trust, can help avoid instilling pain, and can help an otherwise unpleasant situation.

But that being said, honesty is still the best policy. After all, Mark Twain once said, “Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.”

By the way, if you pass this article on to ten friends in the next hour, you really will win the lottery tomorrow!

References

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