Relationships

Shared Experiences

© Jerry Lopper

Feb 21, 2008

Reflecting on the impact of relationships on our life experiences.


Relationships are such a fundamental component of our lives. How we interact with others, our reactions to their swings of mood, their acceptance and support of us, or lack of it, all this and more provides richness to our experiences of life. And yes, some problems and frustrations, too.

I notice the insights some authors have on the relationships portrayed in their books. Anne Perry, for one, often explores relationships very deeply with her characters.

In Shoulder the Sky, her character Joseph was in a life threatening situation, set adrift in the Atlantic in a small boat after a confrontation with a German U boat. "He began to think of all the things that mattered most...his family, the people he loved who formed the frame of his life within which everything else took meaning. What was laughter or beauty or understanding if there was no one with whom to share it? What was achievement alone?"

In At Some Disputed Barricade, her character, Mason, reflecting on his love for Judith, though they were so different. "She was part of his dreams, of the quiet places inside him that fed his strength, the things for which he struggled and climbed to his feet when he fell, the thing that gave the journey a purpose , a distinction, a place to belong."

Author Beth Nonte Russell, in Forever Lily, describes the difference between facing a life event alone or with someone. Paraphrased, she said a good event was twice as good when shared with someone, and a bad event only half as bad.

I've observed that it's much more enjoyable to share an Hawaiian sunset with a loved one than to observe it alone. And the pain of a personal loss is measurably reduced when two or more share it.


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